RULE NUMBER TWELVE

RULE #12: IT CAN ALWAYS GET WORSE.

How many times have you found yourself sitting outside your college or workplace and thinking “Good Lord. This day just CANNOT get any worse!” and then had crowshit fall either in the centre of your head on your bald spot or on the front of your new shirt? Or how many times have you been so depressed that you’ve thought “Okay this is the worst day of my life” and then woken up the next day only to find that you’re sick and cannot go to pay off your bills or submit your project, which now means that there are 10 more bills overdue or 10 more teachers breathing down your neck?

Precisement, mon ami.

Your first reaction to any of this is to completely break down and just give up because you’ve realised that you’ve lost control of everything.

But that’s just it.

Life will never let you have control over everything. In fact, life gives you very little to control and thus control is the one thing every human would strive to gain.

What none of us realise early enough is that the struggle for control is futile. The only way to actually deal with a day, week, month or even year that just seems to go downhill is to live your best and expect the worst. Prepare yourself for everything.

That’s just how life is. That’s just how the entire universe has made it. Anything can happen.

We need to understand the beauty of it. The fact that nothing sits in your hands but continuously changes around you in the most unexpected ways can sometimes create the most magnificent things or the most shocking. What each of these events teaches us is another rule that the universe has created.

Yes. Life can always get worse. But don’t give up hope. Remember rule #5: EVERYTHING COMES TOGETHER WITH TIME.

RULES OF THE UNIVERSE: RULE NUMBER ONE

Welcome to the beginning of 'Rules of the Universe'.
No, this is not a parallel to the Big Bang Theory and/or anything that followed it. This is (almost) everything I’ve ever learnt about life and/or in life so far. They’re just some simple rules and principles that apply to daily functioning of the life of an average, or not so average, individual.
You may say “Oh! But how much could she have learnt in life?! She’s just 18!” (and 5/6ths). I guarantee that by the time I’m in the groove with explaining most of these rules, I shall surprise you.

The rules are in no particular order, but I shall begin with #1 because it is about that heavenly being that has encouraged and procreated life on this planet and (I’m guessing) in the entire universe.


Rule #1: YOUR MOTHER IS ALWAYS RIGHT.

The person who, through his/her life, abided by this rule was probably the most sincere and diligent person the world ever saw. Well, at least according to his mom. The other people of the world (i.e. us) would prefer use other descriptive words for such an individual, e.g. “geek” or “dork” or “goody two-shoes”. We would also gladly and greedily raid his/her lunch box. Ah! Good times!

I think I speak for everyone when I say that all of us normal folk realized this the hard way… EVERY SINGLE TIME. Every day that passes, we are reminded of the fact that this is, without a hint of a doubt, RULE #1, even though we never really end up living by it. I’ve heard of women 3 times my age who still do not (or cannot) listen to their mothers. So what if it’s PMS?! So what if it’s menopause?! (both of which they will never admit) YOU’RE STILL SUPPOSED TO BLOODY LISTEN! Especially when they’re trying to teach you another rule: CHOCOLATE IS ALWAYS GOOD.

Normally when I write about such things I like to cite examples from my life, as most writers do, and I’m really not the kind to deviate from literary norms, so here’s one that just hit me: It is 4 30 a.m. and instead of listening to my mother, I’m running up the electricity bill and writing all of this. So there!

We refuse to believe it in that short span of time during which we’re carrying out the daft act, but every species in the entire universe survives because of this one rule! If bird didn’t listen to its mother, I doubt it would ever learn how to fly properly. Fathers aren’t too good at teaching and that’s another universal rule by itself. They know it too! That’s mostly why the lioness cares for the cubs 24x7 for 2 years, while Mr. I-have-some-killer-hair sleeps and hunts. If life exists in another solar system, I’m sure they’ve figured this out too.

I just realized that everything else I have to say you probably already know, so it’s pointless saying it and I think it would be better for my future if I turned off the computer now. In any case, the first week of July doesn’t look too good from here. I’m sure my mother would agree with me on that!