Friday, February 03, 2012

RULE NUMBER SEVEN BY EIGHT

Rule #7/8: Musicians Can Have Anything.


A bored 20 minutes ago, I was going through a bunch of the world's worst pick-up lines just to have a laugh and find something terrible and interesting to share, when I stumbled across a blog that shares 33 pick-up lines for Musicians.
I got through reading three when I realised that musicians don't need pick-up lines. They need just two things: 1. The ability to speak, and 2. The G chord

Here's how the situation works:
Musician: Hi I'm a musician
Unsuspecting Male/Female Recipient: Really?! Cool. Can you play something?
Musician: Sure. *Plays G chord, slowly, and then again, and then maybe strums for another 2 seconds*
Unsuspecting Male/Female Recipient: OHMYGOD YOU'RE SO GOOD LET'S JAM I CAN SING OR I'LL LEARN JUST TO HANG OUT WITH YOU OHMYGOD

Some musicians don't even need that. They just need to carry their guitar/ guitar case (yes, even an empty case works) or a pair of drumsticks.
Here's how situation #2 works:
Suspecting Mediocre Male/Female/Person: Oh, so you're a musician?
Musician: Yeah.
Suspecting Mediocre Male/Female/Person: OHMYGOD YOU MUST BE SO GOOD LET'S JAM I CAN SING OR I'LL LEARN JUST TO HANG OUT WITH YOU OHMYGOD

Now, you're probably wondering what happens if the musician is a singer/ songwriter/ composer/ producer/ mic boy. Well, that's simple.
Here's how situation Don't-Got-No-Instruments works:
Musician: Hi I'm a musician.
Insignificant Other: What? Where's your equipment?
Musician: Oh I'm a singer/composer/producer/assistant music producer (mic boys usually use [see how I did that] the last one)
Insignificant Other: OHMYGOD YOU'RE SO DEEP AND MEANINGFUL AND MUST BE SO GOOD I CAN SING I LIKE MUSIC I JUST WANT TO okay you get the point.

So if you were wondering why the life of a Rockstar is all "Sex, Drugs and Rock n Roll", it's because no one's ever said no to a musician (except his mother, of course, and maybe a few loan officers).
Hence proved.
(Not really, but you get what I mean.)

Finally, to conclude all this, I'd just like to say MUSICIANS ARE AWESOME.
Ok. Goodbye.

#1 band-song-video on my list.

4 comments:

  1. Sadly this doesn't work with writers.

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  2. Yeah it really doesn't man! It's begun to work with photographers now. How upsetting.
    All I get for saying I'm a writer is an "Oh." or "Oh you write." if I'm lucky.
    Meh.

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  3. Only empty heads fall for empty guitar cases.

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  4. It is not always true that musicians(good or bad) evoke the sort of responses that the blog you came across supposes they do. Unless the musicians in question are famous, such an observation should be a myth.
    Authors(good or bad) have their share of joy too(Salman Rushdie, for example).

    ReplyDelete